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What do you think about your approach to enhancing your declining conversational skills?

In one of the marketing classes I attended by a mentor, I was told that the biggest competition of Coca-Cola was water and not Pepsi so for a very long time it was Pepsi and Coca-Cola that google their adverts. They are one of the big awards.

As we were made to believe, after a while it got clear that the biggest competition for Coca-Cola was anything the  SAME amount of money Coca-Cola costs and it depends on the part of the world that you are IN.

In my country of birth Nigeria, Coca-Cola has a new amazing competition: DATA.

People would rarely do without data and if these people have the option of choosing between the disposable income data and Coca-Cola we will have the verdict out before we even ask. It's clear it's simply data.


So when I went out to a conference to have a human connection to my surprise the biggest competition we still have is DATA and all it does for our digital devices. We still have people on their phones competing with real humans.

How do you drive from your house for a conference and still be stuck on your phones, why are you robbing yourself? 

The act of conversation is an expensive art we don't all know how to do well, but we must keep getting better.

How do I kick off a conversation with a total stranger without simply staring at my phone all through the event?

Let's start with the three basics 

Have a ready backstory about you.

Take a stand on something: Observe, and give an opinion.

Focus on the things that make you unique

Have your backstory

Firstly dress well. I didn't talk about dressing because it is always a given. everywhere around the world and the internet, the one who dresses well gives the eye its first food, good appeal.

As long as the eye is fed well with good appeal, the next stage becomes the experience you give them when you are approached.

Having your "back story" In your head is a big ace on your card whenever you are ready to tell it, be bold enough to tell it several times without sounding bored, or uninspired. it's your story be enthusiastic, and let us catch the bug.

In the beginning, I used to feel awkward telling my story about how my first book had the craziest title I had to name my TV show around it and how that act was my first step to believing in the power of ideas 

The best of us have ideas like the worst of us. The difference remains how we can make it our passion project for the rest of our lives and make the people around us experience the need it solves.

 For me, telling personal stories was a hard sell until i was required to put them in written form consistently. The more I told them, the more it sounded new even when I laughed it off in the beginning as not important 

 It took me having a great team and listening to several eggheads who were ahead of me shamelessly tell their stories without ever feeling they had told them before to get the message. The key thing is repetition and identity our stories are our identity its what makes someone you meet for the first time never forget what you represent and who you are

So first get it out of your mind that you have told it before and tell it like it's yours. It's your story and introduction we all want to hear you.

"When I met someone new at a conference earlier this year, the first response I got after telling my story to the person who seemed interested (I had already told others at the event, but this person seemed more engaged) 

New Prospect: Have you met XYZ?

Me: No,

New Prospect: you need to meet her because she has done something similar to what you just told me and would be glad to meet you. Tell her I gave you her number and her details" As simple as that sounded that was what connecting with your stories can birth for you.

Take a stand on something and lead a conversation boldly: Read the room.  

People want to hear your perspective and are tired of passive and politically correct versions even if they sound popular. When people have different views don't be in a hurry to correct them rather be open to conversations and be a safe space for them to be human and know when to observe and when to have an opinion with your name on it 

The things that make you unique in the world are not the things you are completely in control of, they are the little things that might be nuances to SOMEONE ELSE

You don't need to reinvent the wheel. pay attention to your pitch about yourself and keep iterating it.

Take a stand and give an opinion: Remove your bias about things you hold dearly. Are you a Republican or a Democrat, A core leftist or liberal, Do you dislike Elon Musk and his ego especially what he brings into X and his passion project Tesla? learn to understand how to engage in such conversations that bring them up without betraying your emotions

This might not be the best time to share, but it's important to embrace emotional intelligence to help filter out unnecessary conversations. When in a business setting, focus on what unites us rather than what divides us, and learn to pick your battles wisely.

Focus On the things that make you unique

We all have that thing that makes us stand out most times we are not even aware of the power it but if you are aware of it use it like you would use any new information. The best way to find out this for yourself if you haven't is to ask friends you have known for the past five years, and family you have known all your life and review their feedback


Refrain from assuming that well-dressed individuals are the best targets for conversation, because they may not be as impressive as you are. It is true that I asked you to dress well, but don't forget that if I didn't ask you to dress well, you probably would have been overlooked even if you did everything right, with few people aware of your value. That's all the more reason you should pay attention to your dress.

Should we continue this conversation or are you still committed to attending a human connection gathering and being glued to your phone?

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